I've been shooting film
for more than 10 years now (sort of crazy, see picture of Young Topher holding one of his first cameras) and it is important to look back at your work every once and a while to pick out common themes/styles/techniques that blend them all together. Throughout my photographic journey, I’ve dabbled in various “genres” from portraiture and still-lives to music and architectural.
Various works throughout past couple years
However I have noticed that, with the exception of my music photography (which I can confidently say I have developed a proper style) I am having a bit of an identity crisis.
A question that induces this self-diagnosed dilemma is when people ask “What type of photography do you do Chris?!”. I genuinely have trouble answering that question, but I am not sure if it is due to my own self-criticism or if it’s origins arise from how on social media there are distinct labels when it comes to photographers:
– Wedding photographer
– Animal photographer
– Landscape photographer
– Street photographer
– Neonatal photographer
– Fine Art photographer
etc. etc. the list goes on and on. These labels make me, glitch. I feel like I do not belong to any of these categories, and a question that results from that is “Does this make my work less relatable?”
I really don’t know, and I am sure this pops into every artists’ mind here and there.
So, whenever I am feeling at odds with my artistic identity, I always find refuge in the words of Alex Kilbee, who hosts one of my favorite YouTube channels, The Photographic Eye. His videos are refreshing in an internet that is frequently obsessed with gear and the classic “YOU MUST HAVE THIS insert generic trendy item” clickbait.
In one of his recent videos, he talks a lot about “Emotion“. Which is obviously a very subjective topic; because well, what does make a piece “emotional”? And it was this exploration of “Emotion” combined with some thoughts I had around my 30th birthday, the way I felt after viewing a roll of film I had self-developed and scanned, and this quote from Anton Corbijn on why his work is the way that it is
“…what people call ‘your style’ is basically your inability to do it any other way”
that led me to this temporary conclusion:
The process by which I am capable is of my own. They are characteristic of my hands, imperfections and all.
With that, I want to start developing with caffenol and scanning my negatives at home regularly. Perhaps I can make a log experimenting with film emulsions that don’t have much developing information to see what times work best (aka for films not listed on caffenol.org.
By doing this, I’ll start to slowly accumulate images with a uniform emotion. That way, by the time I am 50, I’ll find another reason to critique my work and find one more to embed myself into this very art I love.
I appreciate your meditation on your work/self. Similarly, I don’t categorize myself as one type of photographer over any other. In the same way I don’t categorize myself only as a man, husband, father, or a good person. I am all those things and don’t see the need to define myself as only one of those things. Why limit my photography self in that way, too? In the end, on one level or another, my photos are me. There’s a lot of talk about “intention” lately, too. There are days when I have a clearly defined idea, goal, or result in mind that I plan for, work toward, and hopefully accomplish. Other days I wander out with my camera looking for interesting light, shapes, colors, places etc. and while some may say that isn’t “intentional” photography, I disagree. The intention, at least for me, is to spontaneously find things in the world to make interesting photos of. Sometimes it works out, other times it doesn’t. But that’s usually true for all work. I agree with you also that it’s important to review your own work from time to time to find the through line. Anyway, for what it’s worth yadda yadda. Be well and keep going & growing. Peace
Hi Angel!
You said this so well! THIS is what it all is about, right? Navigating our world without having to categorize gives us the freedom to explore and create for the sake of OUR being. I appreciate your ability to observe like this, as I am sure it wasn’t an overnight process. I feel like it takes a lot of time unwiring, and to that I give you props.
Thank you for your words, and to the continuation of this process 🙂